“Being single no matter how bad is better than keeping a fake relationship.” – Terry Mark
Sometimes I wonder why after a beautiful wedding, a couple after some months/years begin to have very serious issues and worse leading to divorce. It’s scary! I wonder if there was any real exchange of emotions prior to this heartbreaking and psychologically devastating seperation. And worse is when there are kids involve! How can one bring such a horrible fate to such innocent souls? Seriously I find it impossible to be optimistic about issues and problem we humans cause to our selves. No one is perfect but yet there are more happier marriages and parents remaining together despite troubles in the marriage at least for the sake of the kids involve. Anyway, what can I do about it? I am still too young to understand… I may even end up being one of such parents, who knows…(God help me). It shall only be when I begin to do it on my own without God. That brings to mind, my secondary school motto: “WITHOUT GOD, NOTHING.”
I think (in my OPINION), we sometimes contribute to complications that arise sometimes in marriages and relationships that end so badly. I will share some:
1) Some quickly jump into relationships not really because they feel it in their hearts that it’s time and that this man/lady is the one truly made for them. How do you know if someone is not truly meant for you? When their reactions/actions forces you to begin to pretend to be someone you know deep inside that you are not… THINK.
Many young people today rush into some relationships today simply to avoid some uncomfortable and negative remarks from the society, family and friends which they feel makes them feel too old, left-out or abnormal. THINK: these advisers would not be the ones to live with the person you chose to marry. Even if your house become hell, they would not come and clean up the mess for you… But as usual, they would always be generous to offer you their genuine advise. Some advise would help but even if their advices failed, you can’t take them to court. A husband/wife may be bad, but that’s because he/she is meant for someone else and if they happen to meet the one truly meant for them, they become the nicest and most wonderful husbands/wives you never imagined they could be. If you truly love something or someone, no matter how they hurt you, you can’t hit them, you may want to revenge but you will soon forget about it because losing them is going to be even worse. I am not saying we shouldn’t consider meaningful advice from people but let the final choice come from us, so that when something goes wrong, we can blame ourselves. Blaming others for what we do is not being responsible.
2) The idea that ‘no marriage can ever be smooth’ though true, is not a good starting point. You keep that idea in your head and you may suddenly turn lazy towards working hard to have a happier marriage. Anytime something goes wrong, you are quick to remind yourself about that saying instead of facing the problem properly to see if it can be solved or avoided in subsequent times.
A family TRULY built on God’s principles is bound to enjoy a lot of grace, love and beauty that cannot be seen in families or homes that are products of societal opinions/norms. The problem with our society today is that people are rather interested on complicating issues than helping to solve it. It’s funny the kind of names people can call you for your choices simply because it doesn’t look normal in their eyes. Instead of using the holy book to judge you, they would instead use their own life styles as a standard for such judgements. They are the perfect examples to follow… Oh! Really?
The painful thing about such opinions is the underlying ignorance and shallow thinking that accompany such statements and stereotypes. Seem they are trying to describe how beautiful or ugly the inside of a room looks, but the problem is that they are outside the room and have never been inside, yet they are certain about what they think the inside of the room should look. Maybe they have magic powers…
There’s no perfect marriage, yes, but there are happier ones, so strive to be among the happier and lucky ones.
Fear no opinion that comes from any mortal like you. I wonder how we let human opinions control our lives even more than what comes from God Himself. We have every reason to fear God because He is immortal, a great mystery and the most powerful force that controls the universe. That is why when science tries to explain a mystery it only opens door for more questions. The more we know, the more we realize how less we know and hence the desire to know more. Even to the end, we still learn because the experience of death itself would be new.
Even if one realizes later on that they have chosen the wrong partner, pray to God for a happier home and the grace to find joy and peace again… He would help, our doubts have remained our greatest obstacles to enjoying God’s gifts but we got to keep trying and never give up.
3) Many of us already have designed mental pictures of our ideal wife or husband. I am not saying it’s wrong, but does it agree with what God has in place for us? Or are we going to fight God over what we want. Can we win? We can enjoy the fantasy of having mental pictures of our ideal partners but quickly drop it when God brings His. His gifts for us are the best and ever lasting. Let the prayers be simply the grace to recognize him or her when the time comes. It doesn’t matter where or how it comes, if it’s from God, there can never be any better one.
It doesn’t matter if there’s someone beside you right now that’s telling you a million times everyday that they love you… If you don’t feel right about it, be honest with yourself. Only God can truly know the one that truly love us, because only He truly understands us, He created us. Human beings are very intelligent and complicated, they have the ability to manipulate and deceive each other to get what they want… That explains how someone can hide their real self until after marriage and sometimes even several years after marriage?
Life can be very simple and beautiful but all depends on our choices.
Thank God for another grace to write…thoughts kept coming but I just kept postponing… Wishing I could post them without typing (smiles a bit), no, I’m not that lazy, it was just you know… It won’t just happen again.
Have A Beautiful and Lovely Day!