Life seems to go so fast looking at the past but looking at the future, it only comes one step at time… Enjoy the PROCESS.
The term leadership can be seen as the ability to pull ones’ subordinate along for the purpose of achieving a specific objective or goal. According to Koontz Etals, Leadership “is an influence, that is, the act of influencing people so as to strive willingly and enthusiastically towards the achievement of a goal.” Leadership, therefore, entails service to people for the achievement of a common goal; service then becomes an essential ingredient for good exhibition of leadership. If service is at the centre of leadership, the big question we are immediately confronted with is this; what then becomes the fate of a country that is ruled by self-centered leaders? This write up is inspired by the need for service in leadership while stressing servant-leadership style as the best for us, Nigerians.
With blessings accrued to her by God of mineral resources, breed of intellectuals, skilled and available man power; the lack of genuine service has crippled the nation (Nigeria) such twrong he nation which was on its feet is gradually crumbling financially and morally with some citizens suffering bitterly. Over the years, Nigeria as a country has suffered tremendously in the hands of crooked and self-centered leaders. It is obvious that the rich in Nigeria gets richer while the poor get poorer; even the recessed Nigeria we are passing through today is as a result of our desire to always take and not to build.
Our leadership spirit must foster unity, promote harmony, sustain both human and material development, and ultimately, it must promote service which is a valuable action, deed or effort performed to satisfy a demand. “The servant leader is a servant first… ” this begins with the natural feeling for service of others, hence, a conscious aspiration to lead. Such person is different from the one who is a leader first, perhaps, because of the need to assuage a curious power drive or to acquire material possessions. While traditional leadership generally involves the accumulation and exercise of power by the one at the top of the pyramid, the servant-leader shares power, put the needs of others first, and help people develop their talents, so as to encourage effective performance in the society.
What Nigeria society needs, therefore, is servant-leaders who are able to acknowledge their need for service (people who put God first); men of integrity, who can boldly distinguish right from wrong and stand on their convictions despite pressures and temptations. Persons of good character who have a patriotic love for their followers. The Nigeria leadership system needs prominent figures not only on books but of character to be role models, mentors and coaches, to inspire a life of dignity, integrity and responsibility among the youths who eventually would take over the affairs of the country in their retirement or departure from this earthly life.
This means that, emphasis must be placed on service to others, a holistic approach to work, promotion of communal life, and sharing/distribution of power in decision making. The leaders and followers must be committed so as to design a goal program to fulfill the vision of the Nigeria we want.
Winston Churchill once said: “never give in, never give in, never ever give in, in something, great or small, large or petty-never give in except to the convictions of honour and good sense.” This is what our country needs from its leaders which is, to have the mindset of service, integrity, self-discipline, among others. The followers on the other hand must learn to work and support their leaders in their quest to serve them, taken into cognizance that without good followers, the leaders would be frustrated. When this is done, true leadership would be achieved and consequently, the Nigeria we want would become a reality.
-WRITTEN BY: ADAMA CYRIL
Enjoy these beautiful quotes about Love… And share the beauty if you wish… (Smile)
1. Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.
— James Baldwin
2. We waste time looking for the perfect lover instead of creating the perfect love.
— Tom Robbins
3. If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.
— Johnny Depp
4. All, everything that I understand, I only understand because I love.”
— Leo Tolstoy
5. Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever – only, nothing is eternal. — Audre Lorde
6. The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart. — Helen Keller
7. We must love one another or die. — W. H. Auden
8. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
— Lao Tzu
9. Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
— Lucille Ball
10. Unless you love someone, nothing else makes sense — E.E. Cummings
11. To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that’s everything.
— T. Tolis
12. Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. — Robert A. Heinlein
13. Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself. —Andre Breton
14.The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in— Morrie Schwartz
15. It takes courage to love, but pain through love is the purifying fire which those who love generously know. We all know people who are so much afraid of pain that they shut themselves up like clams in a shell and, giving out nothing, receive nothing and therefore shrink until life is a mere living death. — Eleanor Roosevelt
16. Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear. — John Lennon
17. Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.
— 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (The New Jerusalem Bible)
18. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. — Ann Landers
19. Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. — Rumi
20. The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart. — Helen Keller
21. You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear — Oscar Wilde
22. Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. — Oscar Wilde
23. Love is the most terrible, and also the most generous of the passions; it is the only one which includes in its dreams the happiness of someone else. — Alphonse Karr
24. Anyone who falls in love is searching for the missing pieces of themselves. So anyone who’s in love gets sad when they think of their lover. It’s like stepping back inside a room you have fond memories of, one you haven’t seen in a long time.
— Haruki Murakami
25. The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that. — Woody Allen
26. If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you. — A. A. Milne
27. Love can make even nice people do awful things. — Jude Deveraux
28. Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time. — Maya Angelou
29. When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. — When Harry Met Sally
30. You know you’re in love when you don’t want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. — Dr. Seuss
31. Love is the one thing in life that makes everything worthwhile. — Carrie Ann Inaba
32. Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. — Khalil Gibran
33. Love is unpredictable and it’s frustrating and it’s tragic and it’s beautiful. And even though there’s no way to feel like I’m an expert at it, it’s worth writing songs about—more than anything else I’ve ever experienced in my life. — Taylor Swift
34. You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
— Melanie Clark
35. Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.
— Peter Ustinov
36. To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
— David Viscott
37. I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
— Martin Luther King, Jr.
38. Love is more than just a feeling: it’s a process requiring continual attention. Loving well takes laughter, loyalty, and wanting more to be able to say, ‘I understand’ than to hear, ‘You’re right.’ — Molleen Matsumura
39. There is no remedy for love but to love more. — Henry David Thoreau
40. Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused. ― Paulo Coelho
41. Where there is great love, there are always miracles. ― Willa Cather
42.If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were. — Khalil Gibran
43. Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. — Karl Menninger
44. The love we give away is the only love we keep. — Elbert Hubbard
45. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. — Martin Luther King Jr.
46. When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us, I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most. — (Unknown)
47. To love unconditionally requires no contracts, bargains, or agreements. Love exists in the moment-to-moment flux of life. — Marion Woodman
48. Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. — Howard Washington Thurman
49. I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone. — J.R.R. Tolkien
50. I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow. — Leo Christopher
Enjoy your day… (1 smile from me)
In a noisy world, the quiet ones are thought abnormal… And in a quiet world, the noisy ones are thought abnormal. The wisest thing is knowing when it’s necessary to be either of the two. But I still think a quiet and meditating environment seems much more pleasant to live in, because even a good speech, is not prepared in the market square.
“Being single no matter how bad is better than keeping a fake relationship.” – Terry Mark
Sometimes I wonder why after a beautiful wedding, a couple after some months/years begin to have very serious issues and worse leading to divorce. It’s scary! I wonder if there was any real exchange of emotions prior to this heartbreaking and psychologically devastating seperation. And worse is when there are kids involve! How can one bring such a horrible fate to such innocent souls? Seriously I find it impossible to be optimistic about issues and problem we humans cause to our selves. No one is perfect but yet there are more happier marriages and parents remaining together despite troubles in the marriage at least for the sake of the kids involve. Anyway, what can I do about it? I am still too young to understand… I may even end up being one of such parents, who knows…(God help me). It shall only be when I begin to do it on my own without God. That brings to mind, my secondary school motto: “WITHOUT GOD, NOTHING.”
I think (in my OPINION), we sometimes contribute to complications that arise sometimes in marriages and relationships that end so badly. I will share some:
1) Some quickly jump into relationships not really because they feel it in their hearts that it’s time and that this man/lady is the one truly made for them. How do you know if someone is not truly meant for you? When their reactions/actions forces you to begin to pretend to be someone you know deep inside that you are not… THINK.
Many young people today rush into some relationships today simply to avoid some uncomfortable and negative remarks from the society, family and friends which they feel makes them feel too old, left-out or abnormal. THINK: these advisers would not be the ones to live with the person you chose to marry. Even if your house become hell, they would not come and clean up the mess for you… But as usual, they would always be generous to offer you their genuine advise. Some advise would help but even if their advices failed, you can’t take them to court. A husband/wife may be bad, but that’s because he/she is meant for someone else and if they happen to meet the one truly meant for them, they become the nicest and most wonderful husbands/wives you never imagined they could be. If you truly love something or someone, no matter how they hurt you, you can’t hit them, you may want to revenge but you will soon forget about it because losing them is going to be even worse. I am not saying we shouldn’t consider meaningful advice from people but let the final choice come from us, so that when something goes wrong, we can blame ourselves. Blaming others for what we do is not being responsible.
2) The idea that ‘no marriage can ever be smooth’ though true, is not a good starting point. You keep that idea in your head and you may suddenly turn lazy towards working hard to have a happier marriage. Anytime something goes wrong, you are quick to remind yourself about that saying instead of facing the problem properly to see if it can be solved or avoided in subsequent times.
A family TRULY built on God’s principles is bound to enjoy a lot of grace, love and beauty that cannot be seen in families or homes that are products of societal opinions/norms. The problem with our society today is that people are rather interested on complicating issues than helping to solve it. It’s funny the kind of names people can call you for your choices simply because it doesn’t look normal in their eyes. Instead of using the holy book to judge you, they would instead use their own life styles as a standard for such judgements. They are the perfect examples to follow… Oh! Really?
The painful thing about such opinions is the underlying ignorance and shallow thinking that accompany such statements and stereotypes. Seem they are trying to describe how beautiful or ugly the inside of a room looks, but the problem is that they are outside the room and have never been inside, yet they are certain about what they think the inside of the room should look. Maybe they have magic powers…
There’s no perfect marriage, yes, but there are happier ones, so strive to be among the happier and lucky ones.
Fear no opinion that comes from any mortal like you. I wonder how we let human opinions control our lives even more than what comes from God Himself. We have every reason to fear God because He is immortal, a great mystery and the most powerful force that controls the universe. That is why when science tries to explain a mystery it only opens door for more questions. The more we know, the more we realize how less we know and hence the desire to know more. Even to the end, we still learn because the experience of death itself would be new.
Even if one realizes later on that they have chosen the wrong partner, pray to God for a happier home and the grace to find joy and peace again… He would help, our doubts have remained our greatest obstacles to enjoying God’s gifts but we got to keep trying and never give up.
3) Many of us already have designed mental pictures of our ideal wife or husband. I am not saying it’s wrong, but does it agree with what God has in place for us? Or are we going to fight God over what we want. Can we win? We can enjoy the fantasy of having mental pictures of our ideal partners but quickly drop it when God brings His. His gifts for us are the best and ever lasting. Let the prayers be simply the grace to recognize him or her when the time comes. It doesn’t matter where or how it comes, if it’s from God, there can never be any better one.
It doesn’t matter if there’s someone beside you right now that’s telling you a million times everyday that they love you… If you don’t feel right about it, be honest with yourself. Only God can truly know the one that truly love us, because only He truly understands us, He created us. Human beings are very intelligent and complicated, they have the ability to manipulate and deceive each other to get what they want… That explains how someone can hide their real self until after marriage and sometimes even several years after marriage?
Life can be very simple and beautiful but all depends on our choices.
Thank God for another grace to write…thoughts kept coming but I just kept postponing… Wishing I could post them without typing (smiles a bit), no, I’m not that lazy, it was just you know… It won’t just happen again.
Have A Beautiful and Lovely Day!
“Never make a mistake of allowing negative people or thoughts stay for too long in your life, they will destroy you. Nothing poisons the mind like negativity. Its effect is even worse than the deadly diseases. And worse, it never gives up hunting, so do your best never to fall prey to this silent killer. Learn and grow daily, but stay away from negative places, things and people. Negativity never helps anyone’s as it may appear to, it will only make you worse. Even if its coming from me, cut it off, you deserve to be happy.”
– Terry Mark
In 1991, her husband, Prince Charles rekindled his romance with his true love, Camilla and a disillusioned Diana took the extraordinary risk of making her despair public.
She recorded her innermost thoughts for royal author Andrew Morton, on condition that her involvement be kept secret. The result was Diana, Her True Story, a best seller that shook the world. Two decades after her death in an auto crash, it is being republished with transcripts of Diana’s recordings. Daily Mail is publishing extracts and the revelations are just so sensational.
The biggest disruption was when Mummy decided to leg it (in 1967). That’s the vivid memory the four of us children have. We all have our own interpretations of what should have happened and what did happen. People took sides. Various people didn’t speak to each other. For my brother and I, it was a very wishy-washy and painful experience.
Charles (my brother) said to me the other day that he hadn’t realised how much the divorce had affected him until he got married and started having a life of his own.
But my other sisters — their growing up was done out of our sight. We saw them at holidays. I don’t remember it being a big thing.
I idolised my eldest sister (Sarah, six years older) and I used to do all her washing when she came back from school. I packed her suitcase, ran her bath, made her bed — the whole lot. I did it all and I thought it was wonderful. I soon learned that doing that wasn’t such a good idea.
I always looked after my brother, really. We had so many changes of nannies, because Daddy was a very attractive divorcee and he was good bait for somebody. We tend to think they came for that, rather than for looking after my brother and me.
If we didn’t like them, we used to stick pins in their chair and throw their clothes out of the window. We always thought they were a threat because they tried to take mother’s position.
They were all very young and rather pretty. They were chosen by my father. It was terribly disruptive to come back from school one day to find a new nanny.
It was a very unhappy childhood. Always seeing our mum crying. Daddy never spoke to us about it — we could never ask questions. Very unstable, the whole thing.
At the age of 14, I remember thinking that I wasn’t very good at anything, that I was hopeless because my brother was always the one getting exams at school and I was the dropout.
I couldn’t understand why I was perhaps a nuisance to have around, which in later years I’ve perceived as being part of the whole question of the child who died before me. It was a son (John, who died within ten hours of his birth in 1960) and both my parents were crazy to have a son and heir. ‘What a bore, we’re going to have to try again.’ And then comes a third daughter.
I’ve recognised that now and that’s fine. I accept it.
I adored animals, guinea-pigs and all that. I had a mass of rabbits, guinea-pigs and hamsters. They all had names.
In my bed, I’d have 20 stuffed animals and there would be a midget’s space for me. They were all adored. That was my family.
I hated the dark — always had to have a light outside my door until I was at least ten. I used to hear my brother crying for my mother — he was unhappy, too — and my father was right down the other end of the house. I never could pluck up courage to get out of bed. I remember it to this day.
I remember seeing my father slap my mother across the face. I was hiding behind the door, and Mummy was crying. I remember Mummy crying an awful lot. Every Saturday, when we went up (to stay with her and Peter Shand Kydd) for weekends, every Saturday night, standard procedure, she would start crying. We would both see her crying. ‘What’s the matter, Mummy?’
‘Oh, I don’t want you to leave tomorrow,’ — which, for a nine-year-old, was devastating, you know.
I remember the most agonising decision I ever had to make. I was a bridesmaid to my first cousin, and to go to the rehearsal I had to be smart and wear a dress. And my mother gave me a green dress and my father had given me a white dress.
And they were both so smart, the dresses, and I can’t remember to this day which one I wore. But I remember being totally traumatised by it because it would show favouritism.
I remember there being a great discussion that a judge was going to come to me at Riddlesworth (my preparatory school) and ask who I would prefer to live with. The judge never turned up.
Basically, we couldn’t wait to be independent, Charles and I, in order to spread our wings and do our own thing.
We had become horribly different at school because we had divorced parents, and nobody else did at that time. But by the time we finished our five years at prep school, everybody was.
I always had this thing inside me that I was different. I didn’t know why. I couldn’t even talk about it, but it was there.
The divorce helped me to relate to anyone else who is upset in their family life, whether it be stepfather syndrome or mother or whatever, I understand it. Been there, done it.
We were always shunted over to Sandringham (the Queen’s Norfolk residence next door) for holidays. We used to go and see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the film.
We hated it so much. The atmosphere was always very strange, and I used to kick and fight anyone who tried to make us go over there. I said I didn’t want to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for the third year running. Daddy was most insistent because it was rude (not to go).
Holidays were always very grim because, say, we had a four-week holiday: two weeks Mummy and two weeks Daddy, and the trauma of going from one house to another, and each individual parent trying to make it up in their area with material things rather than the actual tactile stuff, which is what we both craved but never got . . .
Birthdays were obviously a treat. My father once organised a dromedary to come along and give us rides around the lawn — he got it from Bristol Zoo. Birthdays were always a good time. Daddy loves parties.
But there was still none of the arms round the shoulder, or hugging. It was always the other things. I always wanted a pram for my birthday — and dolls. I was fiendish about the dolls and the prams.
And I collected pieces of china. All sorts of fairytale things, and tiny little rabbits. I mean, anything that was small was wonderful, as far as I was concerned.
Being naughty at prep school was fun
Actually, I loved being at school. Although, because I was busy looking after my father most of the time, and then suddenly realised I was going to be away from him (back at school), I used to make threats like: ‘If you love me, you won’t leave me here,’ which was jolly unkind to him at the time.
I was very naughty in the sense of always wanting to laugh and muck about rather than sit tight in the four walls of the schoolroom.
I remember school plays and the thrill of putting on make-up. I was a Dutch doll or something like that. My big moment. But I never put myself forward to speak in a play. I never read the lessons at school. If I was asked to do anything, my condition was I’d do it if I didn’t have to speak.
My first sporting cup was for diving. I won it four years running, actually! I always won all the swimming and diving cups. I won all sorts of prizes for the best-kept guinea-pig — maybe because mine was the only guinea-pig in the guinea-pig section.
But in the academic department, you might as well forget about that!
At school, we were only allowed one animal on the bed. I had a green hippo and painted his eyes luminous, so that at night it looked as though he was looking at me.
The dare that nearly got me expelled
I nearly got expelled — I must have been 11 or 12 — because one night somebody said to me: ‘Would you like to do a dare?’ I thought: ‘Why not? Life’s so boring.’
So they sent me out at 9 o’clock to the end of the drive, which was half a mile long, in pitch dark. I had to go and get some sweets at the gate from somebody called Polly Phillimore, I think she was called. I got there and there was nobody there. I hid behind the gate as these police cars were coming in.
I thought nothing more about it. I saw all the lights coming on in the school. I wandered back, terrified, to find that some twit in my bedroom said that she had appendicitis.
Then they asked ‘Where’s Diana?’ ‘I don’t know where she’s gone.’
Both my parents were summoned — they were divorced by then. Father was thrilled and my mother said: ‘I didn’t think you had it in you.’ No telling-off.
Why I never had any boyfriends
There was an enormous hall which they had just built on (at West Heath school, in Sevenoaks, Kent). I used to sneak down at night when it was all dark, and put on my music and do my ballet there in this enormous hall for hours on end, and no one ever found me.
All my friends knew where I was when I crept out, and it always released tremendous tension in my head.
I liked all subjects. History fascinated me. Tudors and Stuarts — I adored them. I never anticipated I’d end up in the system, in the books.
In English, I loved Far From The Madding Crowd and Pride And Prejudice. But in O-levels, you were so besieged with every single line that it became a chore rather than a pleasure. I took five — I got Ds for the lot. That’s not even a pass.
If I could study a subject now, it would be about people. The mind. Definitely the mind. I’d love to study psychology.
(At school) I played the piano. I did my tap dancing, which I absolutely adored; tennis, and I was captain of the netball team, hockey, you name it, because of my height. I was one of the tallest there.
I visited old people once a week, went to the local mental asylum once a week (Darenth Park, a large psychiatric hospital near Dartford). I adored that. It was sort of an introduction for bigger things.
Then, by the time I got to the top of the school, all my friends had boyfriends but not me, because I knew somehow that I had to keep myself very tidy for whatever was coming my way.
I had more girlfriends than boyfriends. I was always mucking about with girls. But I didn’t really have any friends that stuck.
I had crushes, serious crushes on all sorts of people, especially my sisters’ boyfriends. If they ever got chucked out from that department, I used to try my way.
Moving to Althorp was such a wrench
When I was 13, we moved to Althorp in Northampton (her father had become Earl Spencer in 1975 and inherited the estate.)
That was a terrible wrench, leaving Norfolk, because that’s where everybody who I’d grown up with lived. We had to move because grandfather died.
And life took a very big turn because my stepmother, Raine, appeared on the scene. (Then aged 46 and married to the Earl of Dartmouth, Raine was the daughter of romantic novelist Barbara Cartland.)
We all hated her so much because we thought she was going to take Daddy away from us. She was very clever and she wanted to marry Daddy; that was her target and that was it.
I’ve sat and boiled for years and years, and two Septembers ago (1989) my brother got married (to model Victoria Lockwood) and I told Raine what I thought about her — and I’ve never known such anger in me.
It’s because my stepmother and my father were very rude to my mother at the rehearsal before my brother’s wedding; they refused to speak to her, even while sitting next to her on a pew.
I thought that just for one day, for the sake of my brother, we could all be grown-up and get on with it. I just thought it was unbelievable.
So I took it upon myself to air everyone’s grievances in my family. And it was very difficult. My father didn’t speak to me for six months. Raine doesn’t speak to me now (although later they were to get on very well).
But I stuck up for Mummy, and my mother said that was the first time in 22 years anyone had ever stuck up for her.
I said everything I possibly could. Raine said: ‘You have no idea how much pain your mother has put your father through.’
I said: ‘Pain, Raine? That’s one word you don’t even know how to relate to. In my job and in my role (as Princess of Wales), I see people suffer like you’ve never seen — and you call that pain? You’ve got a lot to learn.’
I remember really going for her gullet — I was so angry.
I said: ‘I hate you so much. If only you knew how much we all hated you for what you’ve done. You’ve ruined the house, you spend Daddy’s money and what for?’ (Raine had embarked on a lavish redecoration of Althorp and sold off numerous paintings, antiques and other objets d’art.)
Daddy’s stroke left him a different man.
He had a brain haemorrhage (in 1978). He’d suffered headaches, took Disprins, told nobody.
They said: ‘He’s going to die.’ The brain had ruptured. And we saw another side of Raine which we hadn’t anticipated, as she basically blocked us out of the hospital; she wouldn’t let us see Daddy.
My eldest sister took charge of that and went in sometimes to see him. Meanwhile, he couldn’t talk because he had a tracheotomy, so he wasn’t able to ask where his other children were.
Goodness knows what he was thinking, because no one was telling him. Anyway, he got better and he basically changed character. He was one person before and he was certainly a different person afterwards. He’s remained estranged but adoring since.
He’s not the same since he had that haemorrhage.
I treat people nicely — even the gardener.
My father always said: ‘Treat everybody as an individual and never throw your weight around.’ I always got on very well with everybody. Whether it be the gardener or the local police or whoever, I always went over to talk to them.
My father used to sit us down every Christmas and birthday, and we had to write our thank-you letters within 24 hours. And now if I don’t, I get into a panic.
If I come back from a dinner party or somewhere that needs a letter, at midnight I’ll sit down and write it there — and not wait until next morning because it would wrestle with my conscience. William now does it — it’s great. It’s nice if other people appreciate it at the other end.
My brother’s clever, but not with people.
I’ve always seen him as the brains in the family. I still see that. He’s got S-levels, and things like that. But if you’re talking about how to deal with situations and how to deal with people — no.
I think that my brother, being the youngest and the only boy, was quite precious because Althorp is a big place.
I longed to be as good as Charles in the schoolroom. I was never jealous of him. I so understood him.
He’s quite mature in some ways; he’s quite immature in others. But that’s to be expected — for God’s sake, the boy’s only 28.
He’s very like me, as opposed to my two sisters. He will always suffer, Charles, because he’s like me — whereas my two sisters are blissfully happy being detached.
Finishing school was such a waste of money.
I know that when I went to finishing school (The Institut Alpin Videmanette in Switzerland, in 1977) I wrote something like 120 letters in the first month. I was so unhappy there — I just wrote and wrote and wrote.
I felt out of place there. I learnt how to ski, but I wasn’t very good with everybody else. It was just too claustrophobic for me, albeit it was in the mountains.
I did one term there. When I found out how much it cost to send me there, I told my parents it was a waste of their money. So they whipped me back.
My parents said: ‘You can’t come to London until you are 18. You can’t have a flat until you are 18.’
So I went and worked with a family in Headley, near Bordon in Hampshire — Philippa and Jeremy Whitaker. I looked after their one daughter, Alexandra, and lived as part of their team.
It was all right. But I was itching to go to London because I thought the grass was greener on the other side.
I know the problems of a deputy because I was once a deputy and later a leader with a controversial deputy. As a deputy or vice, if you work hard people will say you are very ambitious, and if you slow down, they will say you are sabotaging your boss. Unfortunately, many bosses are suspicious of their deputies.
The problems of a deputy are largely associated with personalization of power. Instead of perceiving public office as a privilege to serve, it is perceived as an elevation to a higher social status, where power and authority are personal to the person who occupies an office. This makes the boss suspicious of anybody perceived to be encroaching his “territorial integrity”.
Framers of the 1999 constitution were quite aware of the occasional tension in the relationship between bosses and their deputies, therefore, denied vice president and deputy governors specific roles, other than the one’s assigned to them by their bosses. They are called spare tyres, but spare tyres cannot function in any capacity until the original tyre is not usable. In the case of deputy governors and vice president, their offices were specifically designed to complement the offices of their bosses and function at the same time with the bosses. This relationship is an opportunity for political tutelage. How can you train somebody for four or eight years, and throw him away at a time when he should be good enough to take over from you? Are you acknowledging your failure to train him good enough to succeed you? Isn’t it an irony that of the over one hundred deputy governors produced in Nigeria from 1998 to date, only two (Zamfara and Kano) succeed their bosses?
If we were a nation that takes research and political engineering seriously, we would have long ago found out why chief executives fear handing over to their deputies, and correct the anomaly so that trained deputy governors will not be wasted. This requires serious research because even the two governors that handed over to their deputies fell out with them and appear to be sworn-enemies.
It is often argued that most governors go for weak deputies to avoid challenges, therefore, found the deputies too weak to take over from them. This may be true in some cases, but certainly there were many good deputies. We can avoid the tragedy of a tragic deputy by being confident as leaders, aware of the fact that the mandate and the power are yours. Interestingly, the pattern is changing with a professor of biochemistry as deputy governor in Kano State, professor of political science and former Vice Chancellor of UNIJOS as deputy governor in Plateau State.
I was reluctant to write about the tenure of Professor Yemi Osinbajo as Acting President because it should be a simple administrative procedure, until I read the article of Col. Abubakar Dangiwa Umar in the Daily Trust of Friday, March 3, 2017 (Deft moves of Acting President Yemi Osinbajo). One thing I like about Dangiwa Umar is that he always intervene on the side of Nigeria. The point is that responsible Nigerians must always come out, take a position on national issues and push it, especially on contentious issues, otherwise, some reckless Nigerians will take over the driver’s seat of Nigeria and drive us recklessly to perdition.
To begin with, to accept and respect Professor Osinbajo is to respect the decision of God who gives power to whom He pleases. Equally important, President Muhammadu Buhari, is aware of the provisions of the constitution of the country when he picked Osinbajo. The message of Buhari is simple and clear: “In my absence, this man will be your leader. If at any time my creator decides to call me, he is your president”.
The dilemma of a deputy is more apparent when you are a pastor and a professor, who professes. In all the two capacities, you are expected to serve humanity diligently because that is what you chose by opting to be a man of God and an intellectual. And just as you step out to answer your name, some people started shouting: “This man is ambitious, stop him!”. You look around and ask yourself: What is my calling? Is it not to serve humanity? Is this not an opportunity to serve humanity?
Undoubtedly, Professor Osinbajo has done well and deserves commendation. For me, the assessment of a leader starts with whether he is a “philosopher king” or an ordinary person who cannot see beyond the horizon of his ordinary country men and women, therefore, cannot be a pathfinder or custodian of the future.
Philosophical leaders are known for their philosophical thought, philosophical statements, and coherent interventions. Osinbajo was at his best recently, during a civil service function, where he said, civil service is a call to service, a privilege to serve “and if you miss this, you have missed the point”. Period. This statement resonates more than a 500-page book on how to reform civil service in Nigeria. Also, consider the statement of the Acting President to some protesters. He said: “To those who are protesting… we hear you loud and clear. You deserve a decent life and we are working night and day to make life easier”.
There is no point arguing on who takes the credit of the impressive performance of Osinbajo. Nobody should. Not even Osinbajo. If you think that public service is about credit, not service to humanity, “you have missed the point”, to use the words of Osinbajo.
But it is legitimate to ask: what satisfaction should Osinbajo and Buhari draw from the performance of Osinbajo. For Osinbajo it is obvious. The joy of serving humanity and not disappointing your boss cannot be quantified. He is also a good ambassador of his religious and professional constituencies. Nobody will say: what is the point in making a pastor or a professor a president, when one of them failed as Acting President?
President Buhari should be elated that his decision to handover to his vice has vindicated him. This is how it should be. The presidency is for public service, and whoever finds himself in-charge of the office is to be pre-occupied with public service, not personal glory. Also, Buhari’s policy of picking “quality materials” as vice, says much about his self-confidence and passion for Nigeria. The two people he picked in the past to deputise for him, Major General Tunde Idiagbon and Pastor Tunde Bakare, are among the best Nigerians one can find.
We wish President Buhari quick recovery so that he will come back home and continue with the good work he started. The mandate is his.
Publish Date: March 8 2017.
What is a Verb
Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 09/27/2016 – 10:00
TEACHER: What is a Verb?
CHIKE: A Verb is a valve found in bicycle tyre.
TEACHER: What are you saying?
CHIKE: It is a complete sentence sir.
TEACHER: Are you mad?
CHIKE: It is a question sir.
TEACHER: Don’t be stupid.
CHIKE: It is an advice sir.
TEACHER: Stop that nonsense.
CHIKE: It is a command sir.
TEACHER: You’re an idiot.
CHIKE: It is an insult sir.
TEACHER: Get out of my class.
CHIKE: It is an order sir.
TEACHER: Oh! Goodness, What a boy!
CHIKE: It is an exclamation sir.
TEACHER: May God have mercy on you.
CHIKE: It is a prayer sir
A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them:
1. Bride’s relatives
2. Groom’s relatives
He entered the groom’s door and found two doors again.
He entered the men’s door and found two doors again.
1. People with gifts
2. People without gifts
He entered the second door (people without gifts) and
He found himself outside the hotel.